In all of these 36 years after that wonderful evening, I still remember the party I attended as a young captain at Bikaner Military Station. The evening was hosted by Maj and Mrs Avtar Cheema later Colonel. The name may sound familiar to some. Colonel Cheema was the first Indian to climb Mount Everest and is something as children most of you may have learned at school and forgotten. For me, he was my senior and one of the finest officers I have had an opportunity to serve with. Both husband and wife were the epitome in entertaining and hospitality. That party I attended at their house still remain in my memory because of the attention I got from both during the evening. It is here that I picked up my first lesson in entertaining; make the guest feel important; 'Athithi Devo Bhava'. I still do not recollect the food I ate that day but the hospitality was incomparable.
Way later, in 1999, when I was asked to compile a book for the young wives joining the Army, I had to put down all those good lessons in the chapter Party Planning. Attending parties and hosting parties are part of modern day life. These parties can be formal, informal or casual but it is important that your hospitality becomes the talk of the town.
Let us go about analysing each facet of giving a party. The first and the foremost is the type of party you are wanting to give which is very important. Is it going to be formal or are you inviting your boss over or is it just a put your hair down party . In all these cases one needs to arrive at a guest list. It is very important that you mix and match the guest list so that they are a harmonious mix. Your parties are not patching up evenings, so never have people with difference of opinions as nobody will be able to enjoy the evening. If you are inviting your boss and he is coming with his teenage daughters, do invite a young couple or a teenager so that there is bonhomie all around. You should be very careful in working out the numbers that you are inviting. At best it should not exceed 12 including you because then it will not be possible to give attention to all. Also, the same pattern dinner sets comes in sets of 6 and generally there are always 12 of the same plates.
Invitations
Once the list is finalised, find out the availability of each and every guest. It is not always that all are available. If the planning is done well in advance, if there is someone not attending you could fill this gap with another two of your friends. The good old fashion of sending invitation cards are out but do invite them in person. If you are inviting your boss, then it is only appropriate that you invite him in person.
Menu
Once the list is finalised and invitations have gone out, the menu needs to be worked out. Have a theme and then work your menu around it. Do not ever try a new dish for a party, settle down for the ones you know best. As I said in the beginning, the food is not all that important if your hospitality is at its best. But that does not mean that you can be careless with your cooking. Do not have too many dishes as it will become difficult to manage the serving. Try and include one of your traditional dishes as this will be liked by many. Another way to get their attention is to include a local cuisine you are comfortable with. It is also important to find out beforehand as to the number of vegetarians that will be attending and also if any body has any food allergies or preferences. Keep in mind the golden rule of the Chinese when it comes to fine dining; "you first eat with your eyes, then with your nose and lastly with your mouth". Once the menu is finalised, make out the shopping list and get all the stuff required well in advance.
Snacks
There are some golden rules to snacks. If the snacks are heavy, the guests are unlikely to relish the dinner you have so painstakingly made. Every time snack has to be served, you have to rush into the kitchen, warm it up and then arrange it before serving. In doing so you are ignoring your guests. Generally, I always leave dry snacks all around. First, there is no need for any serving in between. At best, I leave some vegetable dips around as it breaks the monotony of the dry snacks. Difficult to believe but it is best not serve any non veg snacks. Non veg snacks tend to fill up the stomach leaving less room for an appetizing meal later.
Preparation
Preparations should start early and most of the masalas and mixes can be made the day prior. All the cooking should be completed well in advance; at least 2 to 3 hours in advance. Divide the predinner chores between you and your spouse.
- Bar should be well stocked. If you are aware of your guests' choice, do have those drinks. Keep all the right glasses handy. Ice always runs short so start making the ice at least 2 days in advance. Empty the ice tray into plastic bags and put the same back in the freezer. Do not forget soda and water and have them at room temperature and cold. There should be adequate soft drinks to go around. In addition to the colas, keep some juices handy. Pineapple, apple and the Leechi juices mostly covers that department. As regards liquor do have all the varieties ie to say Brandy, Rum both Black & White, Gin, Vodka, Beer, Indian Whisky and some Scotch. Lime, salt, pickled onions are all part of the bar and should be at hands reach.
- Laying the table is very important. It is not really possible to have a sit down meal as it requires lots of domestic help which is not available. Buffet is a fine way of serving food. The linen should be clean and appropriate. A damask or satin for formal occasions, lace ones for less formal and coarse Madras cotton checks for outdoor or lunches.
- Lighting should be bright especially at the entrance and where food is being served. Have some fresh flower arrangements around as it will brighten up the room. The rooms should smell good and not that food smell assaults the guests when they come in. That is why it is important to finish the cooking well in advance.
- Your bath rooms need special attention. Keep adequate hand towels and tissues around. Keep basic grooming accessories around so that one can do a bit of touching up in between. The bathroom should smell nice even after repeated use, so have good bathroom freshners around.
- Your attire should be casual yet classy. Your guests are going to be dressed well and if you wear your home attire you will be out of place. Touch up your make up and be absolutely fresh.
- Have a TV room ready for the children and if possible have a domestic help here so that parents can relax. Always cater for children snacks like pop corns and chips and have it ready ready right from the beginning. Little imagination and adequate children snacks can keep the children engrossed in Little Bheem.
Meet your guests in person and with warmth. Introduce any one new to the rest. Always introduce the lady first and then the gent. Give a 5 minute gap before you serve the drinks. Give your attention to everyone and have an eye on everything that is happening around. If it is a casual party, pour the first drink and you could ask the guests to help themselves thereafter. However, if there is someone elder, it is better to serve him. Do not ever force a drink as it is bad manners. Also when you are mixing alcoholic drinks it is better to ask the measure especially when serving ladies.
Keep a track of the talking and let not conversation die down. If the conversations are dying out then it is time for dinner and do not delay it. A good measure of time when dinner should be served is an hour and half after the designated time of the party. But then this may not be applicable where it is fashionable to come atleast 2 hours late for a party. Well you need to play it by the ear so that those who have come early are served food in time. I still remember attending a dinner at my friends house in Delhi where I was called for dinner at 8 PM and I was there 5 minutes ahead of time to find the host and hostess only getting ready. The first guests arrived at 9.30PM. Well, I quietly walked out of the party as I was feeling left out.
At the end, see off everybody in person and thank them personally for their time. Do not rush to the bed immediately after a good dinner is over. Relax with a glass of liqueur or wine with your spouse and go over the evening so that if there any short comings you can get over it next time. Make a note of the menu and the guest list for the future and if you come to know about a food allergy, note it down. Next time when she or he is around you could ensure that this was kept in mind by you and you would have bought that person for life.
When hosting a party hospitality is everything, make everyone feel important and you will be the talk of the town.
Thats some read, thanks
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